Sunday, July 5, 2026

I Repeat Myself by Natalia Shafa

When the human race inexplicably begins to asexually reproduce, giving birth to their own clones, Ambrose Flint will have to learn what it means to raise himself. But Ambrose has a secret. A dark, wriggling secret that has infested his family tree, rotting the wood from the inside out.

The generations of Ambrose's asexually reproduced progeny that follow will need to determine where Ambrose ends, and they begin. They will need to learn how to grow, raise themselves, and forgive. But most of all, they will need to discover the wriggling rot at its core, diving deep into the VR world that holds the answers to their past, locked away in the graveyard of Ambrose’s subconscious.

It will take four generations before the men who are not Ambrose—no matter what their mirrors tell them—learn to heal their intergenerational trauma and end the cycle of abuse.

This is a story of redemption and will lead its readers from the darkest places into an unexpected light.

I Repeat Myself is a deeply psychological look at the metamorphosis of lineage, of nurture over nature, and of one man who must face his inner demon's life after life before rising like a phoenix from his own hell-flame.
 


"In seven years, I’ll still be exactly the same. In seven years, I’ll still be a monster."

 Ambrose, an ambitious politician, an all-around not so nice person, has been one of the chosen to become pregnant by apomixis, an asexually produced child. Which also means cloned. Same looks, same genetics, and often the same inner turmoil passed down from generation to generation. Beginning with Junior, to Ari, and to Jade. Four generations to figure out who Ambrose really was, and who they are as their own person. Trying to separate themselves from the often-terrifying characteristics of Ambrose.

 They are under the protection of the government association called HARP. But they also really do not understand the intergenerational trauma that each of them is suffering from or how to help them break the unrelenting cycle of abuse that resides in each of them. That is what they must figure out from deep within themselves. To become their own person and have their own distinct personalities and build from those strengths.

 Ambrose is addicted to the world of VR. Delving deep within the world and staying there, separating himself from the outside world. This is where he has hidden his subconscious, his deepest, darkest secrets, and where each of the clones, as men, must break the cycle of trauma and abuse.

 The whole concept of this book was very unique, and quite interesting. A thought provoking read, but also entertaining. The darkest parts were written and handled with a carefulness that I appreciated because trauma and abuse is never an easy subject. I felt for each of the clones as they struggled to develop their own personalities and break away from the cycles of the original Ambrose. 

 The last part of the book takes a deep delve into the VR world which, to be honest, I didn't really understand how someone could bury their memories within, but that is most likely just me. I also found it very strange as to the way that those memories had to be released. So, even though I enjoyed reading the majority of this book, the last part I didn't enjoy as much. I just found it all a bit strange. But I will say it had a satisfying ending.

Format: Kindle Unlimited

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Song Pairing: Darkness by Liubomyr Prask

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